It’s the holidays, and you’re likely planning on spending time with friends and family as a part of your celebrations. While it might seem like an unusual time to discuss estate planning, the holidays may offer a great opportunity to discuss your family’s estate planning objectives while loved ones are all together and in the same room.
There are several benefits to sharing information about estate planning, including:
- Avoiding hurt and disputes in the future. Money has the power to create lasting family resentments, and a surprising estate plan revealed only after a parent’s death, can increase the chances for disagreements and misunderstandings to arise and to cause problems. Families can also face many sensitive issues such as provisions for children in blended families, the decision to leave more money to one person than others, and putting guardrails in place to protect a beneficiary from their own bad judgment.
- Eliminating ambiguity and guesswork. Many families find that they’re not only grieving the loss of a loved one; they’re also overwhelmed by the actual process of having to find and interpret the person’s Will. Family conversations ahead of time can mitigate confusion.
- Thinking through future scenarios and brainstorming solutions. Health challenges and diminished capacity can prevent a person from being able to keep up with managing their accounts and assets well. Certain tools such as a Revocable Living Trust could be considered as part of comprehensive estate planning to protect and manage assets while a person is still living.
Starting a Family Discussion
While holiday dinners and family celebrations are probably not the best time to have conversations about estate planning, you can choose a time in advance when everyone will be together and there aren’t distractions. Let people know when the conversation will happen.
Be open about your feelings and observations. You might have noticed that your parents’ house is messier than normal or the food in the refrigerator has gone bad. Perhaps Mom’s personal appearance is different, or Dad’s hygiene is lacking. You might see that bills have piled up, unopened. Let your loved one know what you have observed and let them know you care and want to be their advocate.
Listening to their responses is key. You can often help your loved ones find solutions to their concerns and desires by simply being quiet and listening to them. Make a list of what they want and what they’re worried about. Making a plan creates shared expectations about what will happen next. An important part of the plan is to have consensus about what will happen if a loved one can no longer make decisions for himself or herself.
Holiday Estate Planning Checklist
- Complete advanced planning documents. Whether it’s for your aging parents or for yourself and your spouse, it’s essential to have a Power of Attorney and Advance Directive for Healthcare in place. These critical documents ensure that trusted fiduciaries have been chosen in advance to step in and make decisions if needed. It makes sense to work on these documents while you’re together.
- Inform loved ones about where estate planning documents are located. You should let loved ones know where important documents are stored, including your Will, advanced planning documents, and other information that they will need to make decisions. A Letter of Instructions (LOI) is a written or electronic document that contains practical information such as account numbers, passwords, and other personal information. While it takes some effort to put together, fiduciaries will appreciate having it when it is needed. The LOI should be kept in a safe location where fiduciaries can find it.
- Discuss your hopes and objectives for your wealth and assets. In a November 2024 letter to company shareholders, Berkshire Hathaway CEO Warren Buffett explained his decision to leave the bulk of his wealth to charity through four family foundations. Buffett’s children are aware that they’re receiving only a fraction of his vast wealth because he has openly shared the terms of his estate plan with them. Having this awareness in advance can minimize the possibility for surprises and conflicts later.
- Discuss what will happen to family-owned businesses and properties. It’s not uncommon for parents to want to bequeath a family vacation home to adult children, especially if it has been part of family traditions. While many children would love to inherit a vacation home, others might not want the expense or responsibility for it. It would be wise to discuss the decision to leave real estate to loved ones so that everyone agrees on what should happen to the property. Likewise, thoughtful business succession planning enables a family business to pass as smoothly as possible to family members and avoid disagreements between business owners that could cause the business to dissolve.
- Make desired gifts in person. Rather than waiting to leave something of special value, such as art or jewelry, to a beneficiary in a Will, it’s often a joyful experience to gift the item outright and explain its special significance. In addition to giving objects of personal value, people often like to gift money to loved ones while they can witness the person’s gratitude. Such gifting can be financially beneficial to their estate by minimizing the tax burden, and recipients are usually delighted to receive such gifts. For 2025, up to $19,000 can be gifted per individual recipient with no gift tax consequences.
- Consider sharing an Ethical Will. It can be quite meaningful to communicate family values, aspirations for future generations, and core beliefs in advance of one’s passing. Many families find profound meaning in preparing an Ethical Will that captures the family ethos.
Parents should also consider the tax consequences of the wealth they plan to pass on to their children. It may be wise to consider estate planning strategies that pass assets on to grandchildren instead of adult children, to reduce or avoid unfavorable income, gift, or estate tax consequences.
In conclusion, any estate planning conversations you have over the holidays about elder care, guardianship, advanced directives, and the like should be a starting point for working with an estate planning attorney to help ensure that the desired plan will be carried out in the event of your loved one’s death or disability. Commit to continuing these conversations regularly. Estate planning is not a one-time event, but an ongoing process.
We hope your holidays are wonderful and that you enjoy quality time with your loved ones. If we can help answer any questions that come up during your conversations, the Metro Atlanta-based estate planning attorneys at Morgan & DiSalvo would be pleased to provide more information about estate planning and advice on having productive conversations with family members and loved ones. We can help you craft an estate plan that gives you peace of mind. Please call (678) 720-0750 or email info@morgandisalvo.com.
